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Reasons Why You May Be Addicted to Facebook

June 17, 2014 Leave a comment

Can’t Resist Checking Social Media?facebook

Are you one of those people who just can’t resist checking your Facebook page, no matter where you are and what you’re doing? How often do you log on? Once a day? Twice? Every 20 minutes? Perhaps you’re constantly peeking at Facebook while you’re at work, even though you know your boss doesn’t approve? Well, you’re certainly not alone. With well over a billion registered users around the globe, it’s obvious that whatever Facebook offers, a lot of people want it. And the reason for this worldwide obsession with Mark Zuckerberg’s social network is because when we use Facebook there are several complex emotional processes at play.

When we go online and see that we have lots of friends, it reassures us that we’re loved and valued. We feel popular and liked, and this boosts our self-esteem. It gives us a little buzz and we feel better about ourselves, and this can be very addictive. In fact, social networking can become a dangerous obsession – and for those of us who have an addictive nature it can lead to consequences that are highly negative. You could find that Facebook starts getting in the way of important things in your life that you neglect to do as a result. Or maybe you wake up exhausted in the mornings because you’ve spent half the night trawling around on your mobile or PC.

If you find yourself regularly experiencing niggling little worries about how people will interpret what you’ve posted—or you fret about what others have said—then it could be a clue that you’re developing an unhealthy relationship with social networking. Of course, there’s nothing evil about the idea of Facebook in itself and I use it myself as a communication tool. But if you find yourself becoming a slave to the buzz it can give you then it could be a sign that you suffer from deep insecurity.

The problem for some of us is that it can create an altered reality in which everybody seems to be having a great time, even when their life might actually be falling apart. When Andy Warhol said that in the future everybody would be famous for 15 minutes, he underestimated it, because these days everybody wants to be famous—and all the time—on Facebook. And this creates an expectation that everything ought to be perfect all the time—so when things go wrong in your off-line life, or you find yourself bombarded with messages from all these friends who seem to have wonderful lives, you end up wondering why your own life doesn’t run so smoothly.

Through my work as a therapist, I’ve encountered numerous young women (and some men), who panic if they can’t check Facebook, yet when they do they go into meltdown because everyone seems so be doing so much better than them. It forms a vicious circle. You go online looking for affirmation in order to give yourself a boost—but you end up feeling awful, which in turn makes you all the more likely to go searching for a boost again. It is for this reason that I normally advise rehab patients who are in recovery from addictions or eating disorders to completely avoid Facebook. Experience has taught me that recovering anorexics—who typically have low self-esteem—can be particularly vulnerable.

As I explain in my book, Who Says I’m An Addict – addicts are people who by nature are emotionally codependent on others (this is when we rely on other people to validate our sense of self-worth, rather than having our own healthy levels of esteem). And this being the case, it’s easy to see how Facebook can become a dangerous jungle in which we go searching for validation, because we can rarely live up to the false expectations the social network creates. At its best, social networking fulfills a very deep human need to feel connected to others. The irony is that sometimes it does the just opposite.

By David Smallwood, Source: Heal Your Life

Categories: Self Improvement tips

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

February 16, 2013 2 comments

by Dana Saviuc,

Enjoying the sunHere is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting those all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that. “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.”  Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going tbad_attitude-flush-ito allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly! “A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the pprayer3resent moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self-less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

 

Categories: Self Improvement tips

The Short but Powerful Guide to Finding Your Passion

February 15, 2013 Leave a comment

by: Leo Babauta,

“The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.” – Arnold Toynbee

Following your passion can be a tough thing. But figuring out what that passion is can be even more elusive.

I’m lucky — I’ve found my passion, and I’m living it. I can testify that it’s the most wonderful thing, to be able to make a living doing what you love.

And so, in this little guide, I’d like to help you get started figuring out what you’d love doing. This turns out to be one of the most common problems of many Zen Habits readers — including many who recently responded to me on Twitter.

This will be the thing that will get you motivated to get out of bed in the morning, to cry out, “I’m alive! I’m feeling this, baby!”. And to scare your family members or anyone who happens to be in yelling distance as you do this.

This guide won’t be comprehensive, and it won’t find your passion for you. But it will help you in your journey to find it.  Here’s how.seo-passion

1. What are you good at? Unless you’re just starting out in life, you have some skills or talent, shown some kind of aptitude. Even if you are just starting out, you might have shown some talent when you were young, even as young as elementary school. Have you always been a good writer, speaker, drawer, organizer, builder, teacher, friend? Have you been good at ideas, connecting people, gardening, selling? Give this some thought. Take at least 30 minutes, going over this question — often we forget about things we’ve done well. Think back, as far as you can, to jobs, projects, hobbies. This could be your passion. Or you may have several things. Start a list of potential candidates.

2. What excites you? It may be something at work — a little part of your job that gets you excited. It could be something you do outside of work — a hobby, a side job, something you do as a volunteer or a parent or a spouse or a friend. It could be something you haven’t done in awhile. Again, think about this for 30 minutes, or 15 at the least. If you don’t, you’re probably shortchanging yourself. Add any answers to your list.

3. What do you read about? What have you spent hours reading about online? What magazines do you look forward to reading? What blogs do you follow? What section of the bookstore do you usually peruse? There may be many topics here — add them to the list.

images4. What have you secretly dreamed of? You might have some ridiculous dream job you’ve always wanted to do — to be a novelist, an artist, a designer, an architect, a doctor, an entrepreneur, a programmer. But some fear, some self-doubt, has held you back, has led you to dismiss this idea. Maybe there are several. Add them to the list — no matter how unrealistic.

5. Learn, ask, take notes. OK, you have a list. Pick one thing from the list that excites you most. This is your first candidate. Now read up on it, talk to people who’ve been successful in the field (through their blogs, if they have them, or email). Make a list of notes of things you need to learn, need to improve on, skills you want to master, people to talk to. Study up on it, but don’t make yourself wait too long before diving into the next step.

6. Experiment, try. Here’s where the learning really takes place. If you haven’t been already, start to do the thing you’ve chosen. Maybe you already are, in which case you might be able to skip to the next step or choose a second candidate to try out. But if you haven’t been, start now — just do it. It can be in the privacy of your own home, but as quickly as possible, make it public however you can. This motivates you to improve, it gets you feedback, and your reputation will improve as you do. Pay attention to how you feel doing it — is it something you look forward to, that gets you excited, that you love to share?

7. Narrow things down. I recommend that you pick 3-5 things from your list, if it’s longer than that, and do steps 5 & 6 with them. This could take month, or perhaps you’ve already learned about and tried them all out. So now here’s what you need to ask yourself: which gets you the most excited? Which of these can produce something that people will pay for or get excited about? Which can you see yourself doing for years (even if it’s not a traditional career path)? Pick one, or two at the most, and focus on that. You’re going to do the next three steps with it: banish your fears, find the time, and make it into a career if possible. If it doesn’t work out, you can try the next thing on your list — there’s no shame in giving something a shot and failing, because it’ll teach you valuable lessons that will help you to be successful in the next attempt.

images18. Banish your fears. This is the biggest obstacle for most people – self-doubt and fear of failure. You’re going to face it and banish it. First, acknowledge it rather than ignoring or denying it. Second, write it down, to externalize it. Third, feel it, and be OK with having it. Fourth, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Usually it’s not catastrophic. Fifth, prepare yourself for doing it anyway, and then do it. Take small steps, as tiny as possible, and forget about what might happen — focus on what actually is happening, right now. And then celebrate your success, no matter how small.

9. Find the time. Don’t have the time to pursue this passion? Make the time, dammit! If this is a priority, you’ll make the time — rearrange your life until you have the time. This might mean waking earlier, or doing it after work or during lunch, or on weekends. It will probably mean canceling some commitments, simplifying your work routing or doing a lot of work in advance (like you’re going on a vacation). Do what it takes.

10. How to make a living doing it. This doesn’t happen overnight. You need to do something, get good at it, be passionate about it. This could take months or years, but if you’re having fun, that’s what’s most important. When you get to the point where someone would pay you for it, then you’re golden — there are many ways to make a living at that point, including doing freelance or consulting work, making information products such as ebooks, writing a blog and selling advertising. In fact, I recommend you do a blog if you’re not already — it’ll help solidify your thinking, build a reputation, find people who are interested in what you do, demonstrate your knowledge and passion.

I told you this wouldn’t be easy. It’ll require a lot of reflection and soul-searching, at first, then a lot of courage and learning and experimentation, and finally a lot of commitment.

But it’s all worth it — every second, every ounce of courage and effort. Because in the end, you’ll have something that will transform your life in so many ways, will give you that reason to jump out of bed, will make you happy no matter how much you make.

I hope you follow this guide and find success, because I wish on you nothing less than finding your true passion.

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius

 

Categories: Self Improvement tips

5 Reasons God Made Introverts!

January 20, 2012 2 comments

By: Vinay Kumar.

Being a quiet type, growing up I used to think something is wrong with me.  At gatherings it appeared talkative ones were the popular ones.  As for me, I would mostly sit quietly observing and listening as others chatted away.  So many times I used to wish I had the gift of the gab as those who could make small talk at the drop of a hat had.  While my brain would be active, listening with curiosity.  While I can focus intensely and think deeply, when it comes to making small talk, I seem to blank out.  All the while I would sit there feeling self-imposed internal pressure that I should also be saying something but then wouldn’t know what to say.  Somehow talking for the sake of talking still doesn’t come naturally to me, and frankly superficial conversations don’t interest me either.

Then it occurred to me that at the very basic level, God created two kinds of people.  There are those who are mainly talkers, and then there are the listeners. Why is that you ask?  Imagine for a moment if we all were talkers.  Then who would we talk to?  On the flip side, if we had mainly listeners, then who would we listen to?  With this realization, I accepted that I am the listening type and others are the talker types.  And we both need each other.

In our society, broadly speaking, talkers are thought of as extroverts and listeners as introvert. With this said, I wondered, while we introverts don’t talk much, what do we do that makes us special?  Why did God make us for He doesn’t make anything without a purpose?  As I reflected on these questions, 5 overarching reasons came to my mind. They are:

  • Natural Listeners: Have you ever wanted, needed to talk to someone who would give you undivided attention, really listen to what you have to say without interrupting or cutting you off, patiently take the time to understand you and your views?  This is one of the areas where introverts really shine because since they are not talkers, they are naturally great at listening, both to what you say and also to what you don’t say.
  • Discoverers and Problem Solvers: When I think about many of the scientists, researchers, engineers, mathematicians, technology types, I find many of them are introverts.  They have immense patience to quietly persist, focus intensely, think in depth and pay attention to the smallest details as well as at the same time see the big picture and the interconnectedness.  They can go in great depths in to specific subjects and stick to it for long long periods of time, which is what is often required to come up with something new, and to solve complex problems.  In fact, my observation is that many of our subject matter experts, particularly in technical and scientific areas, tend to be introverts.
  • Knowledge Bearers and Sharers: I find many introverts, possessing strong writing skills, patiently sit at their computers putting out journal articles, blog posts, publications, books and so on.  All this serves to educate and inform.  That in turn influences decisions, actions and ultimately outcomes for many.
  • Natures Glue: Introverts in my experience don’t like too much change.  As result, whether it has to do for example with a job, a project, relationship, a business, introverts prefer to stick.  Having the desire for predictability and stability, they prefer to stay for long periods and as a result serve as a stabilizing force.  They also serve as a calming presence for they don’t get overly excited too easily, and they tend to think before they talk.  In today’s uncertain fast changing climate, such calmness that introverts naturally exude is so welcomed and so refreshing, at least to me as an introvert.
  • Strong Long-Range Planners:  Introverts don’t tend to jump into new areas very quickly.  While this can be a disadvantage in crisis situations (areas where I find extroverts tend to be stronger), when it comes to long-range planning, creating order out of chaos, solving complex problems, introverts are generally very strong.  They can patiently think ahead, develop and analyze options, identify gaps and problem areas before they become costly mistakes, and come up with solutions and alternative approaches. Many times because they are such patient thinkers, they have the strong ability to also sit back, reflect, see the big picture and identify how various pieces connect.

So if you’re an introvert, feel great about yourself for you have so many reasons to be thankful for being one.  And for the introverts you know, please share this with them and thank them for the goodness they bring into all of our lives.  Thank you.

 

 

Categories: Self Improvement tips

We’ve Been Sold a Big Lie

December 22, 2011 2 comments

It’s fascinating to live in NYC or London, right? Well that’s what most people think and that’s what I used to think also. So many people try to get to cities as such, sacrificing many things in their lives.

I did that too – I always wanted to live abroad, either in UK or America. So I studied hard and finally was able to continue studies in UK. Once there, I shortly found a job. I was, in the eyes of my family and relatives, a high achiever because I managed to establish myself in UK.

But what I failed to see through my rosy dreams of living abroad, and what so many people also fail to see, were the big disadvantages of such “progressive” and “highly developed” countries. And there are more downsides, in my opinion, of living in such cities, than there are advantages.

A big problem I see in cities like London and NYC is that the media labels these places as very developed. They put the “developed” and “progressive” labels on the process of killing the nature for the sake of human-made, therefore artificial, structures and other material things.

When you think about it, is it really correct to say that countries which prefer human-made things to God-made things, developed? Is it really right to call countries which produce toxic foods and put high prices on natural foods, progressive? I really don’t think so.

The more time I spend in Indian beaches where people live in harmony with nature, the more faults I see in “developed” countries. It’s as though we’ve been sold a big lie, we were made to believe that we should strive as hard as possible to get to such toxic and stressful places and sacrifice our good years in the rat race so that we could afford to live in developed cities.

It’s crazy when you think about how many people believe this lie, even very intelligent ones. Because of the external influences and suggestions they think that they make their own decisions that they choose to stay in the rat race. Only a very small number of people ever wake up to see what this whole rushing and making it big really is.

I read one good article about how gurus sometimes motivate people not to quit the rat race, but more enthusiastically work in it. Like those gurus who encourage people to aim for millions of pounds are basically encouraging people to spend their lives being slaves of money.

Yes, you may work for yourself and earn this kind of money, but you will definitely become a slave to your business because with big money comes big responsibilities. If you want to sacrifice the time and relationships for a million pounds, go ahead and choose this option. But in my opinion it’s much healthier to live in a more balanced way, earning your own money to live comfortably but not to sacrifice other things you enjoy for your business.

I really don’t know the history well (plus most of it has been “altered” anyway to suit certain powers’ needs) but look at what the “progressive life” and thirst for money has done to some beautiful cultures, like American Indians’. They had such rich and connected to God traditions and ways of life. The “progressive people” pushed them out of their natural places and forced them to live in small areas, the same way as they treat animals by putting them in zoos.

They forced American Indians to work long stressful hours and many of them refused to spend their lives for the sake of some company’s profitability. Those that refused to work stupid hours and play the rat race were labeled “lazy”. It’s scary when you think that such ill-minded people who did so much harm to beautiful cultures and nature are considered intelligent and innovative.

And what’s happening at this time continues to show that such people don’t think forward, they think backwards. Killing people in wars to establish power and take natural resources is very far from God. Killing beautiful creatures like fish and birds just to satisfy the hunger of some. The whole drug industry does more harm than good, but it’s still functioning because it’s profitable. Very progressive indeed.

So here we are, living in these developed countries. We work very hard to earn as much money as possible and in return we get to breathe toxic air, we are entertained by technology which makes us forget human soul connection and we rest by watching TV. Wow, what a return for our hard work.

The whole entertainment system, the whole workforce is also designed to feed our egos and leave us wanting ever more. Buying latest gadgets and competing for better employment hardly makes us satisfied or happy, because we are living a lie that was designed to look real.

Isn’t it much better to work less in “less developed” countries, breathe fresh air, get entertained by meeting friends over a healthy meal or visit places untouched by technology? Having “unprogrammed” myself from the rat race, I would always say yes to this option.

I am really not surprised as to why so many people fail to see through this big lie. We’ve been sold it every single day since our birth. Our parents believe it, our friends believe it, media talks about it. Of course most people would not dare to question such way of life.

And for you to get “unprogrammed” from such thinking, all you should do is stay in nature for around a month. You can, for example, go to some undeveloped country and stay on the beach in a hut or a lodge. Avoid places that are full of technology and choose instead places that have no artificial entertainment. Nepal and India are perfect for that, as you can find many places where the only entertainment is human conversation and appreciation of world’s natural beauty.

(And please don’t delay this trip if you would like to take it, because if you delay it it’s likely to never happen. Even if you have no money, trust that the Universe will supply you when you need it and just take a leap of faith and leave your stressful surroundings.)

The first few days in nature, if you’ve been surrounded by technology all your life, will really be like hell. You will find it deadly boring and dull, maybe even depressing. But when you stay in such places for a long time, the nature starts healing you and you naturally start to unprogram yourself. Then when you come back to a busy city you really see it for what it is – a big lie, an illusion of a better life that people struggle for all their lives and don’t question.

And why are we encouraged to live this lie, to strive for more money and think that stress is an unavoidable thing? Because it’s good for the economy. You see, governmental bodies and institutions really don’t care about an individual. They care only about what’s good for the economy and big companies.

Big companies, for example, greatly profit from selling cheap toxic products like chocolate bars and cakes with artificial flavorings, preservatives, etc. So the governments, working with them, allow these companies to continue producing these cancer-causing products.

The petrol is getting more and more expensive and some people no longer can afford keeping cars. And although it’s possible to power vehicles with water, that would destroy some big companies and thus any such attempts to release water-powered vehicles are harshly dealt with.

That’s only one example of how much society is fooled and made to pay big prices without being provided better and less expensive alternatives. The more you try understanding what’s really happening in the world, the more lies you can spot.

Those who rule the countries know that for the economy to grow, people need to be motivated to spend their best years putting as many hours as possible working for companies and making money. So they do a good job by convincing people to do exactly this.

Please wake up. Sacrificing all your best years in a company you don’t own just to make enough money to survive in highly developed countries really doesn’t make any sense. You will age quickly and stress will cause various illnesses that will worsen with time. And if you get to the old age, know that old people are not respected in developed countries that are why all the plastic surgeries and old peoples’ homes exist. It’s really not worth living like this.

I choose to live in a simple way. I used the money making system of developed countries to free myself. And most people use it and get enslaved by it.

Choose the stress-free country of your choice. Calculate how much you need to make to live okay. And then start some small business and work on it until you make enough money to quit the rat race.

For example to survive in India one can earn only 3 pounds a day. To live okay in certain places in India, one can make 5-10 pounds a day. It’s even cheaper in Nepal. And both countries have amazing natural beauty, great friendly people, healthy food and many accommodation options.

So you see, it’s also a lie when you hear that it’s expensive to live abroad. Believe me, it’s not. I think anyone can make 3 pounds a day; it’s really not that hard. For example, it will take for most people 6 months to reach this stage – I’m talking about passive income generated online here.

I know it may seem strange to sacrifice 6 months just to be able to make 3 pounds a day. But if that 3 pounds a day buys you freedom, then it’s worth it, isn’t it?

Think about it. Think outside the box. Don’t buy into the lie so many people buy into. Remember, crowds are always wrong. Don’t follow, be an example for others as there are so few people who manage to break out of this lie.

Some people won’t like this post. They will say that this is too exagerated and that it’s not that bad to live in highly developed cities. But if you have only seen this kind of life, you will obviously not be able to look at it from the observer’s perspective. That’s the only way of life you know and so you defend it.

Please be willing to search for other ways of life. Who knows, maybe you will wake up from this illusion and understand that life is there for enjoyment and not for the endless race to nowhere.

By: Simona Rich – Personal Development Coach.

 

Categories: Self Improvement tips

How To Form Good Mind Habits

December 20, 2011 3 comments

Your reality largely depends on what mind habits you develop. The more good habits of the mind you create, the more you will be able to enjoy your life. There are some of the habits that are very useful to learn because they will guarantee you a happier, wealthier and healthier future.

Visualisation. This mind habit will change your reality if you learn to visualise things not as they are, but what you like them to be.

So instead of seeing in your mind’s eye what is happening, or recalling something that went wrong, you can choose to see the things you want to have or events that are turning out to be how you want them to be.

Visualisation plays a trick on your mind because your mind thinks that what you visualise is actually happening.

If you visualise that you live in your dream house, your mind thinks that this is your reality. The more you visualise things you want to have, the quicker you will improve your life.

Selective focus. Most people react to all the external things they focus upon. This works to their advantage if only good things are in their environment, but if there are some unpleasant aspects of their reality, then by focusing on them they attract more of the same things.

When you train your mind to focus only on the things that make you happy, you will learn to only recognise those things and ignore the rest. Therefore you will not react to everything you see, but only to the things that are of positive nature. This way you will only attract into your life things that please you.

Absence of thought. One of the most beneficial mind habits you can develop is to learn not to think at all. Meditation is a perfect start to develop this mind habit.

When you do not think about anything at all, you become more in the flow of life and you start making decisions based on your intuition rather than mind. That is always good because your intuition is always accurate.

Also when you suffer from information-overload or when you cannot stop thinking about something, it is better to block all the thoughts for a while. After such stillness of your mind you will notice that you can see more ways to solve problems, it becomes much clearer which path to take or the problems will naturally be solved.

Spotting and eliminating negative mind patterns. Your mind has patterns that were established throughout the years of your life. Some of them are negative, some are positive.

I will give you an example of your mind pattern. Let’s say that you have not been getting along with one of your work colleagues. So whenever you see him, you start feeling negative, then anything you do does not turn out well and you end up blaming the colleague for your wrong actions.

This is the negative pattern that you might have. When you notice a similar pattern in your life you should stop for a minute and become aware of it. Now you should do exactly the opposite of what you always do. Even if you end up doing the same thing, acknowledging this mind habit is the first step towards eliminating it.

When you become aware of the pattern that you have, rest assured that in time you will change it because you will not be able to put up with such awareness for too long.

The same applies to your ego. When you become aware of the ego in operation, you will eliminate more of it from your life only because you become conscious of it.

Negative patterns harm you most when you are not conscious of them. As soon as you become conscious of them, they cannot affect you as much. It is as though you start realizing that it is just a pattern created in your mind and therefore you do not have to play along.

When you are not aware of the pattern and you see someone that you dislike, you straight away become unhappy. You think that your reaction is natural and that you cannot change the worsening of your mood. But as soon as you become aware of the pattern, your understanding of this situation changes. This new awareness gives you more control, empowerment and ability to change this mind habit.

Emphasis on good events. The way to create more pleasing reality is to closely pay attention to great things and events in your life. When something really nice happens in your life, try to focus entirely on that event and spend as much time as you can think about it. Just try to focus on how great the event was and think about every single detail of it.

This way you are activating high vibration in you and the law of attraction is triggered to attract the things of the same vibration that you resonate.

Awareness of the feelings. Whenever your feelings change, try to pay attention to this change. This way you will recognise what triggers you to feel in some particular way. When you find the cause of a negative feeling, you should become aware of it and tell yourself that next time you will not react to this cause in the same way.

You will soon notice that when you recognise the causes of your negative feelings, with time you will stop reacting negatively to those causes. This way you will become more positive because the negative triggers will not affect you in the same way as they used to.

Become present. The most unconscious people are all in their minds and therefore they are completely ruled by their egos. Such people are always suffering from the dramas of their egos, fearing small things, always worrying about what will happen to them in the future, constantly thinking in a negative way. These horrible mind habits ruin their health, such people become unhappy or depressed and their financial situation is always bad.

When you become present in most actions you take, you understand that what your ego tells you is nothing more than just fear-based beliefs, limited in all ways possible and therefore always inaccurate. When you place your awareness in the now and leave your mind to rest, you understand that the natural state of everything is that of well-being, abundance and positivity.

The more in the now you are, the more you will get into the flow of life, the more positive, relaxed and abundant you will become.

Many people feel bad about focusing on the present because they are not happy with where they are. But that can be easily changed once you understand that the present reality is your creation and therefore you can also create a much more pleasing reality.

When you are happy with where you are and are looking forward to better things, you allow better experiences to flow into your reality.

Always strive to raise your mood. The better you feel the more pleasing reality you will attract. You should always try your best to feel as good as you can. Only then you can greatly shift your point of attraction and rapidly change your life.

Things that can raise your mood are:

  • Meditation
  • Visualisation
  • Watching feel-good movies
  • Focusing on great things/events
  • Reading uplifting books and articles
  • Writing about your desires and why you desire them
  • Writing about something good that happened to you

The last two ways to raise your mood are very effective ones. When you feel that your mood is great, try to write about your desires and good things that happened to you. Because you already feel great, you are in the state of allowing, so good manifestations will reach you much faster if you focus upon them (by writing or visualising, for example) in such state.

Conclusion

These mind habits will help you improve your mood, health and finances. Although it is hard to change your mind habits, it is certainly doable if you have a desire to improve your life. It is much more worth improving your mind habits than constantly taking action out of the negative mindset.

The time invested in changing your mind habits is the most beneficial time you will ever spend. Many people, after reading this article, will think that these new habits would be great to have but it would take too long for them to achieve them. However nothing can be more valuable than time spent trying to learn these new mind habits.

Just a few people will learn them. But those few will certainly be more successful than the ones that will forget about them. It is all up to you to choose what to do.

 By: Simona Rich, Personal Development Coach.

Categories: Self Improvement tips

Stay Positive in Negative Situations

October 24, 2011 5 comments

Shared By: Pinky
1. Never respond when you are not calm. If you are not sure that you are calm, don’t respond. Take time to calm yourself down first.

2. Take a deep breath as a first step to calm yourself down.

3. Speak in gentle tone to reduce the tension of the situation.

4. Realize that you can find opportunities in negative situations. Albert Einstein said: “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”

5. Look at the content of what people say to you for something positive that you can act upon to improve yourself. Don’t just reject the whole messages.

6. For the rest of the messages which is negative, simply ignore it.

7. Maintain positive view of the people. Maybe you don’t like their messages or behavior, but that doesn’t mean that you can hate them personally.

8. Realize that having negative feelings will just hurt you, not them. So there is no reason for you to have any negative feeling.

9.If you make mistakes, be open to admit it.

10.If you make mistakes, remember this quote by George Bernard Shaw: “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”

11. If you can, listen to motivational audio program to feed positive thoughts into your mind.

12. Talk to a positive friend who can encourage you.

13. Remember your favorite quotes to give you inspiration and motivation. This is one reason why you should have quote of the day.

14. Look at the negative situations as your training sessions for real life. The higher you climb in life, the worse the negative situations would be, so you’d better be prepared for them.

15. Realize that you can’t please everyone. In fact, nobody can. Sometimes you need to just let some people go. Realizing this will relieve you from a lot of unnecessary burden so that you can focus on the people that you can positively interact with.

Categories: Self Improvement tips
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