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Zambian Humour

February 20, 2012 Leave a comment

Shared by: Rajeev Hundoo.

A Zambian man who makes coffins in the City Centre  was on his way to Garden Compound to deliver one of the coffins when his van broke down on the bridge.

Trying not to be late, he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.

Some policemen saw him and wanted to make some money off him (the usual bribe), so they challenged him:

“Hey!!! What are you carrying and where are you going?!”

The man said, “I do not like where I was buried, so I am relocating”

The Policemen ran for their lives.

Categories: Fun Parlour

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

February 20, 2012 3 comments

Shared by: Harish Karia

1. Money cannot buy happiness but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.

3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Yeah… this is the life. I love this new way of looking at things… Ha ha ha!!!   

Categories: Fun Parlour

Different Approaches

July 30, 2011 5 comments

Shared By: R. Hundoo

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?”

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine.

I open its heart, take valves out, fix ’em, put ’em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic…

 
“Try doing it with the engine running.”

 

Categories: Fun Parlour

A Talking Frog

June 26, 2011 8 comments

By: Pinks Prem.

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The man took the fro…g out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out: “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do anything you want”. Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked: “What is the matter ? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me ?”

The man said, “Look I’m a software engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

Categories: Fun Parlour

IT Technical Support

May 7, 2011 Leave a comment

Shared by: R. Hundoo

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed Undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Regards,
Desperate

Technical Support reply:
Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.
CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

Categories: Fun Parlour

Men Vs Women

May 5, 2011 2 comments

Shared by: R. Hundoo

One Day God comes and says:-

“I want the men to form two queues: One line for the men who had control over their women and the other one for the men who were controlled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk.”

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.

The line for the men who were controlled by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who had control over their women there is only one man God gets mad and says, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all controlled by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!” “Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

The man replies, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

Categories: Fun Parlour

Never Lie to a Woman

May 4, 2011 7 comments
Shared by: R. Hundoo.
A man called home to his wife and said, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends

We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we’re Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up” ” Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.

The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, “Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to Do?”

You’ll love the answer…

The wife replied, “I did. They’re in your fishing box  …”

Never Lie To A Woman…!!!

Categories: Fun Parlour
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