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5 Affairs

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.  One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. ‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded.

‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied, ‘I’m having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.’

She looked down at his shoes and said: ‘You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!’

The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant
and delivered a healthy baby boy.  The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: ‘There’s no way I can
be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?’

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: ‘No, not this time!’

The 3rd Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’ She rubbed baby oil all over him, and then dusted him with talcum powder.

‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’ ‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired
as he entered the room.

‘Oh it’s a statue,’ she replied. ‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

‘Here,’ he said to the statue, ‘have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.’

The 4th Affair

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. ‘Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.’
‘One Cent?’ the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked:
‘How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?’

‘A nickel,’ the barman replied. ‘A nickel?’ exclaimed the man. ‘Where’s the guy who owns this place?’
The bartender replied: ‘Upstairs, with my wife.’ The man asked: ‘What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?’
The bartender replied: ‘The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.’

The 5th & Best Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: ‘I have something I must confess.’

‘There’s no need to, ‘his wife replied. ‘No,’ he insisted, ‘I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!’

‘I know,’ she replied. ‘Now just rest and let the poison work.’

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Categories: Fun Parlour
  1. rajeev
    July 7, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    Ha:) Ha:) Ha:). But great insight.

  2. manisha
    July 7, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    that’s nice joke.i like it and i read this joke and laugh

  3. dhriti
    July 7, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    loooooolllzzzzzzz

  4. fayaz
    July 8, 2010 at 12:20 am

    i like first one

  5. fayaz
    July 8, 2010 at 12:30 am

    and last one is excellent

  6. Kumar
    July 8, 2010 at 9:53 am

    lol @2nd & 4th joke..

  7. Jennifer
    July 8, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    I cant stop laughing! Thanks for making my day!

  8. July 8, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    LOL, Good one!

  9. NIMITA
    July 10, 2010 at 10:38 am

    HA-HA-HA Nice1.LOL

  10. Sachin
    July 13, 2010 at 9:41 am

    HAHAHA….can’t stop laughing>>>

  11. July 13, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    @ Rajeev, Dhriti, Kumar, Nimita, Kobus, Sachin, Jenifer, Manisha and Fayaz. – Thank you very much for enjoying and giving warm comments. You all are always welcome.

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